James: Week 3

Devotional

Now who can tell me what we talked about this weekend? That’s right, we talked about controlling our words. If you were here this weekend you might remember what verse 2 of chapter 3 says.

James understands how difficult it is to get our words right. We never think before we speak, we yell, we lie, we run our mouths and we cause a lot of pain with something that seems so small. We know the damage our words can cause and yet we still send that text, we still say that thing we shouldn’t have, we still gossip. We forget the power of our words and we leave behind a wake of destruction.

I hope after this week we all have a better understanding of why this is so serious. It is so important for us to know that lying destroys our reputation. It makes us untrustworthy and causes unnecessary pain.

It is essential for us to understand that gossip tears apart friendships. That if we continue to gossip about everyone around us, eventually there won’t be anyone around us to gossip with. It breaks apart trust and tears people down.

We need to get it through our minds that cussing doesn’t make us cooler. It’s not honoring God and it’s not adding value to our lives.

We need to learn the pain we cause with our mean words and bad attitudes.

It’s important to understand the negative impact our words have. But it’s also just as important to understand the potential positive impact our words have. We need to cut out the bad and then prioritize adding in the good. Ephesians 4:29 says,

We need to make it a goal that our words are helpful and encouraging to the people around us. So how do we do that? Like James said, the tongue is hard to control. How do we start learning to speak in a way that honors God and brings joy to others?

First thing is we need to:

Prioritize Honesty.

Proverbs 12:22 says,

Imagine if everyone who knew you knew you had a reputation for being honest and trustworthy. No one had to worry about you gossiping about them or making up a rumor. When you tell someone something they believe you the first time, because they know you and you don’t lie! When you share Jesus with someone, they might actually take you seriously because they know you have a reputation of being honest.

Do you know how stressful it is to try and keep up with a lie? Worrying that at any moment you could get caught and really hurt that person or damage the trust in that relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to worry about that?

We have to make a decision every day to be honest people. We have to avoid lies, even when it seems harmless and choose to be truthful! Prioritizing honesty is the first way to ensure our words are honoring God and others. The second thing we need to do is,

Prioritize encouragement.

Here is your challenge should you choose to accept it. Make it a goal, every day for the next week to compliment 5 people per day. Look for opportunities to brighten someone’s day. Make it a goal to put a smile on their face and let them know they are loved. You never know what people are going through. What they need more than anything is encouragement. To know someone sees them and cares about them. If every single one of you does that this week we will encourage so many people in just a week. Don’t miss that opportunity. The third thing we need to do is,

Prioritize listening.

James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

I really believe the best way to avoid hurting people with our words is to limit our words. Instead of always trying to prove a point or get the last word, what if we become better listeners? What if we learned to ask better questions and understand people better?

I love the NLT translation of Proverbs 10:19 because it is so straightforward. It says,

“Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

That’s good advice right there. Instead of trying to make your voice heard all the time, why don’t you try to elevate someone else’s. In fact right now is a great opportunity. In small groups tonight, practice being a really good listener. If you are the one who is always talking in group, maybe use your extroverted energy to help ask questions and bring everyone out of their shell. Don’t interrupt or talk over each other but listen and ask for each other’s opinions. Be slow to speak.

GAME

Rock Paper Scissors Pom Pom

NEEDS: n/a

SETUP: Have students find a person to challenge

Directions:

1. Have a rock paper scissors tournament with a twist - every time someone loses they cheer for the person they lost to during the next round.
2. At the end of the game, half your group will be cheering for one person and half of your group will be cheering for the other person.
3. This will be done in rounds, so students will have to wait until the round is over to continue on and challenge someone else for the next round.
4. This is a great way to get students energized, cheering for each other, and interacting with one another.
5. Keep playing until there is one winner.

*Before you get started ask your students how they did with the new testament reading challenge. If students are struggling consider starting a group chat to help each other*

Small group questions

1. Why do you think it is so difficult for us to control our words?
2. Can you think of a time you used your words to hurt someone?
3. How did it affect them?
4. How did it make you feel?
5. How can prioritizing honesty impact our lives?
6. Can you remember a time someone complimented you and it stuck with you?
7. How would our interactions with people change if we prioritized listening over speaking too much?

Bible study

*NOTE* For younger groups, if you feel they aren’t ready for a full soap journal, encourage them to read through the passage and write down 1. Anything that sticks out to them. 2. Any questions they have from the passage. 3. What they think God wants them to learn from that passage. Then talk over it as a group

1. We learned the SOAP method for studying the Bible. Let’s apply that today as a group to James chapter 3.

Open up your journal and write out

S:

O:

A:

P:

2.Let’s read James chapter 3. Don’t rush through it but take your time to understand and look for one verse that sticks out to you. *read for 10 minutes*

3. Now that we have read, let’s take 10 minutes to journal. You will start by writing down the verse or verses that stuck out to you in the scripture section. Then write your observation, application and prayer. Remember don’t rush, really take the time to see what God has for you.

Questions for observation:

• What is happening in this verse?
• What is God doing or saying in this verse?
• What can I learn from this verse?

Question for application:

• What should I do based on what I just read?

4. Now let’s take a few minutes to share with the group what we learned. *be prepared to dive into any questions and gently correct any confusion or misunderstandings. If you come to a question you don’t know the answer to, remember it is ok to say “I don’t know, let’s find out together!”

Moving forward

We were challenged to make it our goal to compliment and encourage 5 people every day. Assign accountability partners in your group and have them text each other every day to report the 5 people they encouraged and how it made them feel. Follow up next week to find how this went for your group.