Scripture
Controlling the Tongue
1Dear brothers and sisters,[1] not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
3We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.[2]
7People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, 8but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. 9Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.[3]
True Wisdom Comes from God
13If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
17But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.[4]
Translation notes (4)
- 3:1 Greek brothers; also in 3:10.
- 3:6 Or for it will burn in hell (Greek Gehenna).
- 3:12 Greek from salt.
- 3:18 Or of good things, or of justice.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Technology can be a great thing, and a destructive thing all at once. One of the positive things is that it helps us communicate with each other in a way that we never have before. One of the negative things with technology is that it often keeps us from engaging with the people in front of us. We become so engrossed in the people we are engaging with on the internet, and the show we are watching, or the games we are playing, that we forget about the people sitting next to us. Often, the best way we can love our spouses, friends, and family members is to turn off the technology or put it down and give them our full attention by listening to them.
James writes about the importance of listening. "You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry," (James 1:9). Imagine if we all operated under this mentality. Instead, many of us are quick to speak, slow to listen, and quick to get angry. Many of us like to hear ourselves talking and do not like to listen. When we operate this way, severe damage is done to our relationships. We say things that we never meant to say. We hurt people whom we never meant to hurt. We start fights that we never meant to have. This is because, while the tongue is very small, it is very destructive. In James 3, James writes that "the tongue is a tiny thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire" (James 3:5). With this in mind, because of the power of the tongue, we would be wise to listen more and speak less often. We would be wise to listen and think before we speak.
For many of us, listening is not second nature. It is a discipline to practice. It may not be natural to stop and listen, giving our full attention to someone without interrupting. Despite the difficulty, it is worth the practice. You see, when we learn to listen fully, relationships have the power to be transformed. Commit today to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Your relationships will grow and be strengthened as a result.
Moving Toward Action
When you think about your spouse or loved ones, are you truly listening and giving them your attention? What piece of technology is causing the most distraction in your life? Is it your phone, social media, a game you like to play, or your favorite television show? Whatever it is, for today, set it aside and do not use it. Delete the app, turn off the television, or turn off your favorite game. In doing this, spend that extra, uninterrupted time listening and showing attention to the most important people in your life.
Going Deeper
Read James 3:1-18 (NLT)
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